Kitchenware, Euros, and Hell

(I would like to preface this post by stating first that I love living in Italy and am having a great time. I am using this blog for multiple reasons, one of which is to provide an outlet for my emotions and to be able to reflect on them later. The following post is one of those expressive posts meant for personal refection (and any family/friends that care to listen). I would now like to state that my blog, this post in particular, will contain references to religion that may be offensive to some. My intent is not to offend, but to express my views and thought process. I recommend not reading the next post if you are easily offended by this sort of thing.)

After an entire month in Italy, I finally had my first difficult night. It began when one of my roommates came home to announce that she had purchased a variety of kitchen items and expected us to supply funds for them. Previously, our kitchen had been fully stocked by the institute with necessities and even a few luxury items such as a pasta sauce maker and a stove-top coffee gadget. In the event that we do have a multitude of pans, there is still only one stove capable of accommodating two pans at a time. The remaining roommates and I decided we did not need the extra gadgets and decided not to pay her for them. We approached her and explained how we felt and received a small scale temper tantrum. This roommate is fifty years old, which made it even more awkward. After slamming the bathroom door in our faces, the silent treatment began…and this is how my night started.

                Later that night I was informed that I am in need of saving or I will undeniably end up in hell. This I am already aware of, but the timing was bad and it upset me even more. After only fifteen minutes I had someone offering to be my roommate in hell and an entire party of people joining me. We decided we would bring chocolate, wine, and a have a BBQ. We are even inviting Jesus, and secretly hoping he brings angel’s food cake. Apparently those of us going to hell are accommodating, hospitable, and know how to enjoy ourselves. I think I’ll be happy there. My party planning made me feel better until I was confronted with my limited budget.

Now, this I will not dwell upon long because I am incredibly grateful to be in Italy. My hard work and the help I have received from my amazing support system are paying off. However, I have always been an ambitious child and am discovering I am an even more determined adult. I want to do everything, be everything, and experience everything possible. Due to my nature, I somehow worked it into my head that I would be able to see not only all of Italy, but also all of Europe in 3.5 months on my savings account from a job in retail. Realistically, this will not happen. Nevertheless, as a dreamer I was upset when reality began to dawn on me. My budget is tighter than I had anticipated (don’t worry I am not going to sell organs in order to eat, I am just going to cut back on trips and gelato.) I re-did my budget and my first instinct was, “Okay, no problem, if I only eat potatoes and lentils I can still visit x,y and z.” Once again, luckily I received a reality check. Someone reminded me how hard I worked to get to Florence and it would be silly for me to spend all my time and money traveling to other places if it means I will not be able to fully enjoy Florence. After all my dreaming about pizza and pasta I should let myself go out and enjoy it every now and then! This was much needed advice and I really appreciate it. Once again, the budget has been re-done. Thanks Mom.

Although that night both surprised and scarred me that I would feel so upset in a place of such joy, a few days have passed since and I am back to living my dream. I walk pass the Duomo every day, I sit along the Arno River at least three times a week, and I can step outside any time of day and hear people speaking one of the most beautiful languages of earth… I am the luckiest girl in the world.